Just another day, a poem by Tabatha

Feet deep within the earth’s divine soil,

I reach out my arms,

Lift my heart,

Center my thoughts to feel the pitter-pattering on my soul,

Like I have starved for the touch of anything, or anyone to make me feel again.

My soul secretly yearns for the sun’s

Warm welcoming rays.

The way it dries up each droplet of pain

So no one can see, and I can continue wearing a mask.

I dig deeper

Filling my soul with hope, desire and drench my sorrows as the cold creeps in.

Unwelcome, unworthy, not capable of being loved.

Center my thoughts

Love the shallow pool around my naked feet, as if it were my solace..

My only way to ever really feel again.

Somehow the emptiness, the loneliness quells inside my brain and puts its dark sticky web around my golden heart,

While it numbs itself in my thoughts,

So I can function.

When did life become about merely being able to function..

Slowly melting into the earth,

I put on a happy face,

Let my positive nature and hopeful heart shine through.

So no one will see,

No one will question

The droplets of rain still hanging onto my hair,

To my cheek and freezing my fingers.

Subtle reminders that I am not okay, but I am strong and will go on.

Let the sun warm my bones and the love in the world and potential for a good day transform me.

Just another day…

Another day.

(C) Tabatha Goughneour written 3/20/19

Invisible, a poem by Tabatha

I just want to disappear, be invisible.

To not be seen nor heard.

Just bask in the sun,

Let the pain drain into the earth with the swirls of mist gather around me.

Let the now falling rain wash my face

Wash the mud that splatters my heart.

It drains from my pores and soils the earth.

All the sorrow, all the heartache.

Everything I have ever cried over is flowing into the earth beneath my feet.

Maybe a flower will grow there,

Maybe someone will see,

That I have existed, loved and lost and tried,

Maybe they will see my traces of life there.

For now I just want to be invisible.

(C) Tabatha Goughneour 2008

Bare existence, a poem by Tabatha

Pick at me to death,

Judge my ever word, every move.

You got me all wrong,

You don’t see who I am.

Misconceptions of every kind,

You stab at me with your eyes.

I cry into a muffled night,

Darkness consumes my heart.

Lying here to die,

For an injustice of your mind.

I’m too stealthy, too quick.

My words cut your conscience

Like a hot blade on ice.

Can’t take these words back,

I never meant to make you cry.

It’s brutal honesty,

In the rawest form.

Now I rot here forever

Caged, naked..

My mind raped and scarcely breathing.

Let me out , let me be me.

You have the damn key.

(C) Tabatha Goughneour 2008