Feet deep within the earth’s divine soil,
I reach out my arms,
Lift my heart,
Center my thoughts to feel the pitter-pattering on my soul,
Like I have starved for the touch of anything, or anyone to make me feel again.
My soul secretly yearns for the sun’s
Warm welcoming rays.
The way it dries up each droplet of pain
So no one can see, and I can continue wearing a mask.
I dig deeper
Filling my soul with hope, desire and drench my sorrows as the cold creeps in.
Unwelcome, unworthy, not capable of being loved.
Center my thoughts
Love the shallow pool around my naked feet, as if it were my solace..
My only way to ever really feel again.
Somehow the emptiness, the loneliness quells inside my brain and puts its dark sticky web around my golden heart,
While it numbs itself in my thoughts,
So I can function.
When did life become about merely being able to function..
Slowly melting into the earth,
I put on a happy face,
Let my positive nature and hopeful heart shine through.
So no one will see,
No one will question
The droplets of rain still hanging onto my hair,
To my cheek and freezing my fingers.
Subtle reminders that I am not okay, but I am strong and will go on.
Let the sun warm my bones and the love in the world and potential for a good day transform me.
Just another day…
(C) Tabatha Goughneour written 3/20/19